The Mask

I think I probably spend half of my paycheck on visits to the salon. Unfortunately, I have a hard time telling the difference between my arm and the husband's a month after any visit. Both qualify for 'hirsute'. And he doesn't help either.."Time to make a salon appointment, no?" is music to my ears.

Anyway, that's neither hair nor there. I went to a salon in Bangalore, and was greeted by one of the staff with a cordial "Hi! Ma'am", followed by

S: Esscuse Ma'am whether you are having cough, cold, fevers yenything?
Me: Erm..no
S: Wokay, just for checking whether you have hiney.
Me: Hiney?? (Thinking WTF!?...is she calling me a sickass? while contemplating whether to turn around and see where my hiney had gone)

S: Ess Ma'am..Swine Flu.

It then dawned on me that she meant H1N1. Before I could react suitably..her friend walked up and said "Ey gimme mask ya..my client is having cough, cold, fevers". Very forward of the salon to be informed, and even more forward of them to conserve masks by sharing one between 5 people.