Goddesses & Goons

I've been to a couple of bachelorette bashes now, and the usual drill is dinner, drinks, and club-hopping downtown. It's pretty much a given that going downtown means meeting odd people, and when the motto of the city you live in is "Keep Austin Weird", people strive to live up to it, like STRIVE.

This experience was like none other. I had kindly accepted to be the "DD" or designated driver, since my friend (who the party was for) needed to get her drink on and man up to face the long, long term of marriage stretching before her. This means I can't drink, I am wonderfully sober, and primed to absorb maximum weirdness.

Dinner was good - Mexican food, can't complain (except about the price), and while me the married loser wanted to go back home and go to sleep and wake up for a workout on Sunday (gotta keep the man focused you see), this thought was quickly banished by a loud consensus of "let's go hit the clubs!".

So off we went..the first one was without incident, and at the second one I was able to wrangle a few free shots off the bartender, so that one was stellar. I'm still wondering where to classify the third.

One of the girls had forgotten her ID. Now, unless you're one of those fortunate 25+ somethings that looks like you are 12 (in which case you will be slapped for complaining about being ID'ed), clubs are usually pretty lax about checking. Of course, we had to go the one club that isn't. So the girl in question said she would wait outside while the rest of us went in and partied because she didn't have a ride to go home. Very nice of her, and we would be total shits if we actually went with this idea, so we didn't. We offered to take turns waiting outside with her. We left companion no.1 with her and went in. 10 minutes later, I walked outside to play 'swap with the companion', and I was waylaid by a slightly tipsy white guy who I figured was either going to ask me for a light, or attempt to use some other obvious line when he said, "Can I ask you something?".

While I braced myself for the inane question, he said..

Is it Navaratri now?

(Between being totally WTFed in my head, and complete curiosity at where this conversation might go)Indeed it is!

So, are you celebrating it?

Well, not now really (mental picture of martini glass in one hand, and sundal kathori in the other) I'm here on a bachelorette party.

Yes, I noticed that earlier.

(AHA! I was noticed..and the married, taken for granted woman in me puffed up in the chest at this admission and maybe even smiled a little. On the exterior I was all steel and business) Oh, okay.

So, which Goddess is it about today?

Right now, the one getting drunk in there!

Haha! That's funny..but no, seriously is today Durga, Lakshmi or Saraswati?

(Double WTF) Erm..actually, that's just the last 3 days, but it's generally about honouring the Mother Goddess.

Oh wow, that's so beautiful.

And before this ridiculous conversation went any further, I said "Thank you! I'm glad you think so. I'm sorry, but I have to go now." (The spouse thinks this dismissal of his carefully crafted conversation was cruel)

Gotta give the white man props for trying though. At least his pickup line was creative. What if I had been an Indian Christian?

I thought that was it for the night, but no! While waiting in line outside the next club, my bachelorette friend and I were hit with "Are y'all from here?" by possibly the shortest guy I have ever seen outside the Guinness Book, followed by "What do you think of all the Tomfoolery going on in thishdhwebejwbbnmm...mumble" which I interpreted as - guy heard himself talk in his head, and couldn't bring himself to continue after tomfoolery, and decided to stop trying. It's a good thing, because I was going to applaud him on successfully using 'Tomfoolery' in a sentence.

Gotta love it..at least gives me something to write about.